Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Monday, March 10, 2014
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
"The Voice Within"
To: Christine
From: Christ Jesus
When I was a young boy, I had a traumatic accident with a Stick Horse. When I threw it back in the Toy Box to select another toy, the wooden part splintered and struck me in the right eye. The pain was immense, and while I tried to be brave, I was virtually inconsolable.
My parents first took me to the county hospital where they attempted to quell the pain but they were not prepared to deal with such an injury. They were able to call ahead to Duke University Medical Center and so we traveled across Durham with some very high hopes.
I am not sure if Duke did not have the resources to help with my injury or we did not have the resources to pay for any medical procedures. To be fair, they did not have the Searle Center or Eye Hospital they now have.
They called ahead to a Private Hospital called McPherson Eye, Ear, Nose and Throat. Since my injured eye was hemorrhaging quite profusely by this time, they immediately took me into surgery to try and stop the bleeding.
After surgery, I was told to lye very still and someone was always by my side to ensure that I remained so. At this point I still had some vision in my right eye and a simple white dot at the edge of my pupil.
Then, as luck would have it, I had a nightmare. I jumped straight up in the bed and began to scream unmercifully. In doing so, the eye began to bleed immensely again destroying all vision and what once was a beautiful blue eye was now a discolored and disfigured ornament I would have to carry until the age of 16 and I was only five at this time.
It was March of 1960, and while I could not see the snow since both eyes were now bandaged, I understand that it snowed for three straight Wednesday's. They had to take me back to surgery to again try and stop the bleeding, but they were unsuccessful.
They could have removed the Eye at this point, but the goal was to keep the eye intact so as not to have to replace it with an artificial eye until I had stopped my growth pattern. Otherwise, they would have had to replace the artificial eye time and time again.
My Father was devastated I know, seeing me in such pain and he therefore went to the President of the Hospital (Sam McPherson) to see if he might would intervene. One surgery performed by him was all it took to permanently stop the internal bleeding.
Nothing could be done about the discoloration and disfiguration of the eye. Nor could anything be done about "The Voice Within" which became my mantra until age 16 when I finally received my first artificial eye.
Grade School was a battlefield for me. A constant barrage of insults and bullying. Every name imagined was mine from One Eye Jack to Eyeball to RickyBlind. Even my own sister once called me a Monster and I most assuredly felt so.
I could not find my "Voice Within". The noises I continued to hear again and again were voices of despair, loneliness and ridicule. I would quite often place my hand over my eye and pray for a miracle to create sight again and restore the beauty that was my right eye. The answer came but it was not exactly what I was looking for.
I turned to Football and Baseball as avenues which I hoped would provide me with a voice within and during my first football season, I walked away with The Most Valuable Player award. It was a very long eleven years between the accident and my first artificial eye.
When I first heard the phrase "You have some beautiful blue eyes," I was more than just a little elated. Not only was the prosthesis virtually unnoticeable, I discovered that I did have a "Voice Within." In fact, I went on to marry The Homecoming Queen.
When you feel like you have no recourse but to find your Voice Within, look to The Angel of Music. He will guide you to that special place inside your Heart.
Monday, March 3, 2014
"Feels Like Home"
To: Christ Jesus
From: Christine
Christ Jesus, there is a place deep within my heart that has been empty for so long now. Even when I am with family or friends, I often feel lonely and alone. I listen to the voices of mankind and I see the disparity of words and the futility of actions.
A myriad of mistakes I have made along my "Broken Road." Each having distanced me from Your presence. How I long to find that place which I can call Home. Yet I traverse and meander along an evasive gorge, in search of that comfort only you can give.
Many ridicule you Christ Jesus, while others often mock and curse your name. Some will even suggest that they are doing your work on Earth by peddling what they offer as Governmental Altruism.
I do not understand why so many now worship what is considered to be our Mother Earth...the very place upon which we live. I know this earth is not my final resting place, yet when I consider my eternal destiny, I find that my temporary home is the place where you dwell, and that is deep within my Heart.
I thank you for giving me a Home for you to dwell. I hope and pray that those who suffer without having found a Home for you in their Heart will soon find that joyous journey which will lead them to the new "Shape of their Heart."
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